Author Topic: I am starting a new stockphotowebsite .. (Read 21097 times)

michealo · « **on:** March 10, 2008, 11:05 »

I am going to call it unfortunatecantstopphoto.com but any other suggestions are welcome

For contributers you will have to supply the picture description as a Haiku.

Your payout will be decided by rolling dice.

Reviewing will be offshored to a team of ring tailed lemurs in Madagascar, I am thinking two levers one if they like it one if they don't.

Rejections will get a random irrelevant rejection notice , not suitable for stock, overabundant category, too blue, not blue enough, etc, etc

The top slot on the front page will go to the contributer with the most facebook friends regardless of photographic merit.

You need to have at least a 39 megapixel camera or you can just upsize in an image editing package.

Minimum pay-out is $1000, if any gets near that I will probably rise it again - its a great way of financing a business.

The site will be down on Tuesday nights because my mother needs her laptop to do play bridge with my granny - don't worry though the lemurs keep working.

kosmikkreeper · « **Reply #1 on:** March 10, 2008, 11:11 »

leaf · « **Reply #2 on:** March 10, 2008, 11:12 »

is there a referral program. I am no signing up unless there is!

digiology · « **Reply #3 on:** March 10, 2008, 11:16 »

HAHAHA

Sounds like it will be a success!!!

michealo · « **Reply #4 on:** March 10, 2008, 11:25 »

By popular demand the unfortunatecantstopphoto referral program

For each user you refer they get 5% of your earnings ad infinitum - you can refer up to 20 users!

ludesal · « **Reply #5 on:** March 10, 2008, 11:27 »

I am so sad... I just became exclusive to IS, and this sounds like the best stock site ever! If only we can have an undo option in real life...

GeoPappas · « **Reply #6 on:** March 10, 2008, 11:39 »

Don't we already have a bunch of sites just like this?

What will make yours any different?

And what is your marketing plan?

null · « **Reply #7 on:** March 10, 2008, 12:21 »

Quote from: GeoPappas on March 10, 2008, 11:39

And what is your marketing plan?

Post messages at the Microstockgroup.

Peter · « **Reply #8 on:** March 10, 2008, 12:25 »

hahaha! loool!

and if you submit more than 1 image per batch, and one batch per week, your account will be locked. hhhhh

michealo · « **Reply #9 on:** March 10, 2008, 12:32 »

What's a mar-ket-ing plan ? ;-)

JerryL5 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 10, 2008, 12:40 »

Acceptable file formats:
.jpg, .tif, .cryn (.cryn = crayon)

louoates · « **Reply #11 on:** March 10, 2008, 12:55 »

I heard that Snap Village was seriously looking at acquiring this startup.

rjmiz · « **Reply #12 on:** March 10, 2008, 13:01 »

This is quite a surprise because I own the domain name "unfortunatecantstopphoto.com

how ever if you wish to have it, I am willing to relinquish it if you agree to turn over your first born son to me.

HughStoneIan · « **Reply #13 on:** March 10, 2008, 13:25 »

Unfortunately you cannot go through yet with your plans. Madagascar lemurs are a protected species and as such are exempt from servile labor of any kind. Talk to Canstockphoto. From the sounds of it their reviewers may be looking for other employment soon, and then experience will be on your side.

michealo · « **Reply #14 on:** March 10, 2008, 15:04 »

the lemurs were consistently less random ...

null · « **Reply #15 on:** March 10, 2008, 18:44 »

Quote from: louoates on March 10, 2008, 12:55

I heard that Snap Village was seriously looking at acquiring this startup.

Actually they are more interested in the incredible technological skills of setting up FTP, and the know-how about Windows since SV still runs on DOS 2.0 and the watermarking is done by a Commodore 64.

DanP68 · « **Reply #16 on:** March 10, 2008, 22:48 »

If Miz has indeed secured the rights to this domain name, then may I suggest:

Bigluckyvillagecan.com

Here is the entry page I designed:

Welcome to BigLuckyVillageCan!

Royalty-Free Stock Can Photos!

DanP68 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 10, 2008, 23:06 »

I posted this on your message boards, but Michaelo deleted it! He also warned contributors that such posts could cause their accounts to "mysteriously disappear!"

One of your lemurs just rejected my image of a goldfish shaking hands with a businessman. The ridiculous reason? Too blue! Are you kidding me? This photo is straight out of the camera! I used a cooling filter on my lens, and used CS2 to remove all reds and greens. That's all! I didn't add any blue! You guys are turning into istock with your ridiculous over-blue rejections.

I'll have you know this image has been accepted at all the other microstock sites, and is a best seller!

We all know what's going on here. If I were exclusive, my image would have been accepted.

Also, ever since you did your 2.0 upgrade of the the best match (Blue Most) Search, all I ever see are Blue Exclusives in the top positions. Maybe I'll delete my account after your ridiculous 3 decade commitment is up. And what is the deal with your 3% commission? I can understand 5% for Blue Exclusives, but 3%???

leaf · « **Reply #18 on:** March 11, 2008, 01:15 »

all i want to know is where I can report copyright infringement.

I was clearly the first one to take a picture of the goldfish shaking hands with a business man and you copied me. Look at the image numbers 64 and 75 - mine is clearly first. I am writing support to have your image deleted and your earnings transfered to my account.

DanP68 · « **Reply #19 on:** March 11, 2008, 01:45 »

Oh yeah?

Well, you copied my picture of smiling grandparents talking to a young woman wearing a headset while sitting on a hay bale!!!

DanP68 · « **Reply #20 on:** March 11, 2008, 05:29 »

Quote from: leaf on March 11, 2008, 01:15

Look at the image numbers 64 and 75 - mine is clearly first.

But mine is an isolation with a clipping path. Yours isn't. And I'm reporting you for using "sexy", "teen," "america," "internet," and "government" in your keywords.

null · « **Reply #21 on:** March 11, 2008, 05:52 »

Quote from: DanP68 on March 11, 2008, 05:29

And I'm reporting you for using "sexy", "teen," "america," "internet," and "government" in your keywords.

Better keep your info updated. After Monica Lewinsky, the ban on combining "government" and "sexy" in the keywords of one shot has been lifted.

DanP68 · « **Reply #22 on:** March 11, 2008, 06:28 »

This is true. I used those keywords for an editorial shot of Elliot Spitzer.

HughStoneIan · « **Reply #23 on:** March 11, 2008, 07:25 »

I hope this thread lasts a long time

And just in case the domain name is taken, how about "Gutterstock?"

null · « **Reply #24 on:** March 11, 2008, 08:03 »

Quote from: HughStoneIan on March 11, 2008, 07:25

And just in case the domain name is taken, how about "Gutterstock?"

Some domains are already taken, like SuckerStock, NightmaresTime, CrapHamlet, iStuckPhoto, FeedmePics, CantStockPhoto, Fophobia, TinyStockPhoto, Albummer, Zymystical, LostPhotos, PanzerMedia, 123Royalties4me and UnluckyGulliver (the self-proclaimed giant that was tamed by market dwarfs).

RacePhoto · « **Reply #25 on:** March 11, 2008, 21:33 »

Quote from: michealo on March 10, 2008, 11:25

By popular demand the unfortunatecantstopphoto referral program

For each user you refer they get 5% of your earnings ad infinitum - you can refer up to 20 users!

While your referral plan is the best in the business, I'm going exclusive at Snap Village. I heard the village is turning into a city...

The message came up time after time when I was trying to upload. I think there's a hidden message in that, which only I can see.

Good luck with "BigLuckyStockPhotoiVillage" (can't have a name without having Stock or Photo in it, can you?)

Quote

Firefox can't find the server at www.unfortunatecantstopphoto.com

louoates · « **Reply #26 on:** March 11, 2008, 21:49 »

I ran all the suggested names through a new freeware application I found on the siteofthedamned.com site. Turns out that none of the names above made it through the Voodoo, Damned or Possessed filters.

The software also came up with some suggested names for new ventures but suddenly my computer seems to be doing funny

a.k.a.-tom · « **Reply #27 on:** March 12, 2008, 19:28 »

Hey, can I get a free tee-shirt???

null · « **Reply #28 on:** March 12, 2008, 23:27 »

Quote from: a.k.a.-tom on March 12, 2008, 19:28

Hey, can I get a free tee-shirt???

You're too cheap! What about this one?

ptlee · « **Reply #29 on:** March 13, 2008, 11:32 »

When do we get a raise?

RT · « **Reply #30 on:** March 13, 2008, 12:34 »

Your site sucks,

I submitted my best isolated shots of the first ten things I saw on my desk, I took them all on an off white background (apart from the bit where I spilt my tea) and made sure I used my best torch to light them, then I increased the saturation in Photoshop 4 to +65 and upsized the photo from my native 1.5mp camera phone to 112mp to ensure I could sell it as an XXXXXXXL to get a better commision.
I wrote sexy,bitch,young,stud,money,background,emo,emu,emi,ema and grunge,gringe,gronge in all the keywords.
Out of the nine your blind reviewers accepted yesterday only one has had a download as an XXXXXS for which I've received $0.00012.
Your search results are clearly biased for anyone who's name is Bryan.

Now if I don't get an appology and the recipe for your wifes lemon ice cream I'm going to remove my portfolio of 24 photo's and take them elsewhere.

null · « **Reply #31 on:** March 13, 2008, 12:41 »

Quote from: ptlee on March 13, 2008, 11:32

When do we get a raise?

We will raise the bar for quality like CanStockPhoto. Happy?

From now on we will also include only the last 10 keywords in the search engine, and only those longer than 8 characters.
All landscape photos should be landscape (H) and all portraits portrait (V).

Horizons should be horizontal, give or take 2.69 pixels.
In case of married male models, a mother-in-law release should be uploaded too. In case of sexy girls, make sure her telephone number is very clear and in print.

scrappinstacy · « **Reply #32 on:** March 13, 2008, 15:28 »

You guys are just tooooooooo funny!

swedstock · « **Reply #33 on:** March 13, 2008, 15:36 »

It's been a while since I laught this hard

travelstock · « **Reply #34 on:** March 14, 2008, 02:32 »

If I post 239 threads on your contributor-only forum showing everyone my "cakes and sweets" will the sales magically go through the roof for my images that so far haven't had any sales for the 3 years they've been online?

RT · « **Reply #35 on:** March 14, 2008, 07:16 »

"Limited commercial value"

Have you guys never heard of the term 'the dogs bollocks' !!!!

HughStoneIan · « **Reply #36 on:** March 14, 2008, 07:55 »

Quote from: holgs on March 14, 2008, 02:32

If I post 239 threads on your contributor-only forum showing everyone my "cakes and sweets" will the sales magically go through the roof for my images that so far haven't had any sales for the 3 years they've been online?

I spoke with support (a rather rude lemur), and they said only threads showing pictures with the theme "the color blue" will be allowed. All others will be deleted and the posters' accounts will be suspended pending further review. Something about wanting to keep the site's image as professional as possible, unlike others....

null · « **Reply #37 on:** March 14, 2008, 12:11 »

Quote from: holgs on March 14, 2008, 02:32

If I post 239 threads on your contributor-only forum showing everyone my "cakes and sweets" will the sales magically go through the roof for my images that so far haven't had any sales for the 3 years they've been online?

Bluntly said, no Holgs. You totally seem to miss the point of commercial microstock and the kind of business we are building. As it happens, we had a Ballyhoo about this recently in my Bermuda Marriott rooftop suite sipping liters of prime Veuve Cliquot 2001 with our other 89 CEOs.

A quality site like ours is not about the photographers, but it is about us.

You see, photographers are a commodity and Bermuda Marriott rooftop suites don't come cheap. A successful MS site has operational costs too and I'd surely would like to upgrade to Veuve Cliquot 1999 next month.

Thousand of new stock photographers are born every day in China, in India, in Eastern Europe, - and given some time lurking in all the free tutorials on the net and on forums (mostly done by overfed over-egoed stock photographers like yourself, wasting their time instead of doing photography) they will get good, they will get better and especially, they will be cheaper than you, populating all the new 1-cent subscription sites with their flashy Nokia 24MPs.

That's why we have such a competitive advantage with our dowload all you can for 0.99$ yearly innovative superstition plan (SuperScription++ ^TM). We are targeted towards rapid growth and ultimate customer satisfaction. In a grand scheme like this, there is no need at all for naggers, whiners and touters in our Vomitorium^TM.

Only 3 threads will be allowed. Our own milestones thread, a contributors thread in which you are cordially invited to post like wow I feel so happy to be here, and fantastic, this site rocks.

The third thread will be very relaxed though. Anything goes, as long as it's about Veuve Cliquot.

Hope this helps.

RacePhoto · « **Reply #38 on:** March 14, 2008, 13:20 »

Now that the site seems to be more and more popular, I suggest that you start charging photographers for the right to give their photos away for nearly nothing, and give away that 5% referral fee to others who claim it.

You can have a SmugStock sub-section for people who want to pay, to make nothing, peer review to get accepted and annual subscription, plus photogs have to pay for bandwidth and pay per view if a file is clicked and not downloaded. (now there's a new way of looking at pay-per-view)

With the SmugMeasures ranking plan, if you make a sale, your rank will be dropped according to a mysterious formula comprised of todays weather in a random spot in the South Pacific near Palmyra, factored by the number of days, before or after your birthday, whichever is larger, and divided by the minutes of high tide on Orkney since the last full Moon.

All people with no sales, will have their rank increased to fill the vacated positions. This way, no one person will ever get ahead of the rest of the pack in the search engines. This will also end all debate and questioning why your rank has dropped, right after a big sale, and re-writing all you keywords.

ptlee · « **Reply #39 on:** March 14, 2008, 17:08 »

Great news! Wow! Super! Wonderful! This site is the best. You guys always come out with the best ideas!!!

Quote from: FlemishDreams on March 13, 2008, 12:41

Quote from: ptlee on March 13, 2008, 11:32
When do we get a raise?
We will raise the bar for quality like CanStockPhoto. Happy?

From now on we will also include only the last 10 keywords in the search engine, and only those longer than 8 characters.
All landscape photos should be landscape (H) and all portraits portrait (V).

Horizons should be horizontal, give or take 2.69 pixels.
In case of married male models, a mother-in-law release should be uploaded too. In case of sexy girls, make sure her telephone number is very clear and in print.

a.k.a.-tom · « **Reply #40 on:** March 14, 2008, 17:11 »

Quote from: FlemishDreams on March 12, 2008, 23:27

Quote from: a.k.a.-tom on March 12, 2008, 19:28
Hey, can I get a free tee-shirt???

You're too cheap! What about this one?

..................ah, does this mean .....ah, no shirt? How about a bumper sticker???

suwanneeredhead · « **Reply #41 on:** March 15, 2008, 20:09 »

CLASSIC! Thanks for sharing that!

hatman12 · « **Reply #42 on:** March 15, 2008, 20:18 »

This new site is so tempting that I'm considering going exclusive.

HughStoneIan · « **Reply #43 on:** March 16, 2008, 14:50 »

Yes, I was considering going exclusive also, but then I read the fine print of the submitter contract and was turned off by the phrase "if you become exclusive here you must remain exclusive here for the remainder of your life." A 10- or 20-year exclusive commitment I can deal with, but a lifetime?? No, thanks!

jorgeinthewater · « **Reply #44 on:** March 16, 2008, 15:01 »

I uploaded my vast collection of Blue Ocean Images (all 10,000 of them) and guess what ,all rejected on copyright issues. I didn't know that images of the ocean where copyrighted. Could someone please help me with this? Is there a link to get more information? and if is true what can I do with all this water?

jorgeinthewater · « **Reply #45 on:** March 16, 2008, 15:07 »

Racephoto wrote:
You can have a SmugStock sub-section for people who want to pay, to make nothing, peer review to get accepted and annual subscription, plus photogs have to pay for bandwidth and pay per view if a file is clicked and not downloaded. (now there's a new way of looking at pay-per-view)

With the SmugMeasures ranking plan, if you make a sale, your rank will be dropped according to a mysterious formula comprised of todays weather in a random spot in the South Pacific near Palmyra, factored by the number of days, before or after your birthday, whichever is larger, and divided by the minutes of high tide on Orkney since the last full Moon.

All people with no sales, will have their rank increased to fill the vacated positions. This way, no one person will ever get ahead of the rest of the pack in the search engines. This will also end all debate and questioning why your rank has dropped, right after a big sale, and re-writing all you keywords.

[/quote]

Wait, wait that allready is happening

HughStoneIan · « **Reply #46 on:** March 16, 2008, 15:26 »

Quote from: jorgeinthewater on March 16, 2008, 15:01

I uploaded my vast collection of Blue Ocean Images (all 10,000 of them) and guess what ,all rejected on copyright issues. I didn't know that images of the ocean where copyrighted. Could someone please help me with this? Is there a link to get more information? and if is true what can I do with all this water?

How can we expect a lemur to understand the concept of "copyright?"
(For that matter, how can we expect Istock to understand the concept of "copyright?")

vonkara · « **Reply #47 on:** March 16, 2008, 16:44 »

Quote from: jorgeinthewater on March 16, 2008, 15:07

Racephoto wrote:
plus photogs have to pay for bandwidth and pay per view if a file is clicked and not downloaded. (now there's a new way of looking at pay-per-view)

I like this feature. And a good thing will be that the search engine work whit how many time you be log on in the site. That would make an other form of exclusivity. People taking time to upload elsewhere will be disadvantaged while others who don't go anywhere else in the net would be in the best match. That work also for the designers each year taking by the designers log on on the site will making them having a price reduction.

I written that but I'm still not sure what all this is about, but it's kind of funny

fullvalue · « **Reply #48 on:** March 16, 2008, 18:40 »

I think Exclusivity should require that contributors download a monitoring program that crashes their system if they try to visit any other site on the web. (I don't think this will phase Windows users as we're used to it but it will drive Mac users crazy.)

For a bonus you could give this same "program" to your customers as a gift. Sales would skyrocket.

HughStoneIan · « **Reply #49 on:** March 16, 2008, 21:15 »

Quote from: fullvalue on March 16, 2008, 18:40

I think Exclusivity should require that contributors download a monitoring program that crashes their system if they try to visit any other site on the web. (I don't think this will phase Windows users as we're used to it but it will drive Mac users crazy.)

For a bonus you could give this same "program" to your customers as a gift. Sales would skyrocket.

mantonino · « **Reply #50 on:** March 16, 2008, 22:08 »

Quote from: michealo on March 10, 2008, 11:05

Minimum pay-out is $1000, if any gets near that I will probably rise it again - its a great way of financing a business.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Quote from: GeoPappas on March 10, 2008, 11:39

Don't we already have a bunch of sites just like this?

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote from: JerryL5 on March 10, 2008, 12:40

Acceptable file formats: .cryn (.cryn = crayon)

ROFL! LOL OMG.

Quote from: DanP68 on March 10, 2008, 23:06

One of your lemurs just rejected my image of a goldfish shaking hands with a businessman. The ridiculous reason? Too blue! Are you kidding me? This photo is straight out of the camera! I used a cooling filter on my lens, and used CS2 to remove all reds and greens. That's all! I didn't add any blue! You guys are turning into istock with your ridiculous over-blue rejections.

*tears*

Quote from: FlemishDreams on March 11, 2008, 08:03

SuckerStock, NightmaresTime, CrapHamlet, iStuckPhoto, FeedmePics, CantStockPhoto, Fophobia, TinyStockPhoto, Albummer, Zymystical, LostPhotos, PanzerMedia, 123Royalties4me and UnluckyGulliver (the self-proclaimed giant that was tamed by market dwarfs).

*laughing harder* Oh man…. Zymystical – that's how I really feel about that site. I don't understand it yet. lol I would also say 123Royalties4Me is hilarious!

Instead of Istuck how about USuckPhoto?

--------------

I needed this thread tonight! Thanks! haha The disillusionment is everywhere! haha At least I'm not alone.

null · « **Reply #51 on:** March 17, 2008, 07:32 »

Quote from: a.k.a.-tom on March 14, 2008, 17:11

How about a bumper sticker

Yes we have those, and to stand out from the others, they are vertical. Fits nicely on a sports utility bulldozer. Send us 10$ by Paypal for packing and handling, and you get one for free!

bestshotz · « **Reply #52 on:** March 17, 2008, 08:57 »

Message Moved

HughStoneIan · « **Reply #53 on:** March 17, 2008, 09:09 »

Deleted

bestshotz · « **Reply #54 on:** March 17, 2008, 09:32 »

Message Moved

le_cyclope · « **Reply #55 on:** March 17, 2008, 19:24 »

Quote from: bestshotz on March 17, 2008, 09:32

Hi Hugh

OK Mate .. cheers for the advice .. Because its a new Site .. Sounded right up my alley starting it here ... Got to start somewhere ... .. and this looks like a good friendly forum ... with good viewing stats to get the right people for advice and new members and within 5 mins of post had 5 new viewers on site 1 a min not bad .. its a start ... but will look around to start a new thread ...

Cheers again thanx for the advice

Paul

And take time to read this actual thread from the beginning...

Good luck!

Claude

graficallyminded · « **Reply #56 on:** March 24, 2008, 17:16 »

I will only sign up if i get a free t-shirt, and a hasselblad so i can shoot 39 MP.

DanP68 · « **Reply #57 on:** March 24, 2008, 18:17 »

Quote from: RT on March 13, 2008, 12:34

Your search results are clearly biased for anyone who's name is Bryan.

I don't think I caught this one before!

null · « **Reply #58 on:** March 24, 2008, 18:38 »

Quote from: graficallyminded on March 24, 2008, 17:16

I will only sign up if i get a free t-shirt, and a hasselblad so i can shoot 39 MP.

You clearly missed our last assignment: A creative and fully model released photo of Britney Spears shaking hands with Barrack Osama in pink business suit wearing headsets in front of the Boroburdur temple complex in East Java, Indonesia. The first price was a Hasselblad. Too bad you didn't participate!

Better next time!

RacePhoto · « **Reply #59 on:** March 24, 2008, 21:25 »

I hate to feed this thread, but there was a free camera deal, H3DII-39, 39 Megapixel, SLR Digital Camera, and it came with a free T-shirt. Just like some of the best deals on eBay, the only catch was, shipping is $34,005 plus insurance.

Had to be ordered on Feb. 28th, so you might try again in four years.

Your next photo assignment, should you choose to accept it, is Elvis, Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix all together at a cafe' in France. Rumors are that they are still in hiding together. Double bonus if you can catch Marilyn Monroe and JFK, who are also reported to be secluded in the same area.

ann · « **Reply #60 on:** March 29, 2008, 00:56 »

This is a formal complaint against Unfortunatecantstopphoto.com's Terms of Use for Contributors, Article 372c:

#372c: All titles, descriptions, and keywords must be anagrams of Unfortunatecantstopphoto.com AND relevant to the photo.

Yes, there are well over 1,000 words that can be formed from Unfortunatecantstopphoto.com, but here's just one less-than-desirable effect of this rule: Every image will have to be taupe, unless we can use hue to stand in for every other color.

If Article 372c , aka the Anagram Debacle, continues in force, get ready to have your portfolio reflect subjects and concepts such as these exclusively:

contemptuous, catastrophe, cottonmouth, manufacture, portmanteau, accountant, autonomous, contestant, counteract, counterman, courthouse, monotonous, portentous, spacecraft, tantamount, technocrat, thermostat, toothpaste, touchstone, tournament, aftermath, afternoon, amorphous, astronaut, automaton, cancerous, compacter, component, composure, concourse, courteous, courtesan, craftsman, cutaneous, cutthroat, farmhouse, fortunate, horoscope, northeast, opportune, osteopath, outermost, parachute, paramount, proponent, sophomore, spectator, stateroom, transmute, trenchant, uppermost, uttermost, amputate, ancestor, apparent, approach, autocrat, automate, chaperon, chestnut, coachman, coauthor, comatose, concerto, contempt, contract, corpsman, enormous, farthest, footnote, footpath, foursome, humorous, mustache, numerous, opponent, pantheon, penchant, puncture, purchase, saucepan, scarface, shortcut, spectrum, teaspoon, tomatoes, topnotch, tortuous, upstream, account, cartoon, coconut, camera

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Author Topic: I am starting a new stockphotowebsite .. (Read 21097 times)

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