I use a lot the "blinks/blinking" camera setting (actually it is always on), have you tried it? that shows you the highlights, I tend to go very close to the highlights, it depends also on the subject, if I am looking for an isolation but even when outdoor I pull it up a bit, at least I know I am exposuring the scene quite well.. And has you said in camera raw we can use recovery.. Overall whatever you are shooting it mustn´t be 255 255 255 (once that is pure white as you know already) the objects/subjects/whatever might have a little (pure white) but pay attention because that may result in a lighting rejection (some or a lot will be approved, actually there are "top" photographers pulling it quite high, not saying I don´t like, sometimes it works pretty good, take a look around portfolios, you will see what I am talking about, regarding these highlights)
Regarding fill setting I used it a little too but not that often (if you aren´t going hard there shouldnt bring noise), I guess I go more on the exposure, contrast and recovery, try a few but don´t tweak to much

(WB too lol)