Author Topic: Lets help Race Photo design "Crapstock.com" (Read 2659 times)

click_click · « **Reply #25 on:** July 06, 2012, 07:56 »

In order to streamline the uploading process, all submissions have to be sent in on 5 1/4 inch floppy disks. If the 1.2 MB capacity limit is not enough, simply zip the images into 1.2 MB large ZIP files and save them on multiple discs.

You are allowed to use 3.5 inch floppy discs for footage submissions due to the increased storage space and to save the environment.

Please make sure to password protect your ZIP files. For security reasons please kindly mail the password (not shorter than 55 characters), written on a paper napkin via postal mail. Please make sure to purchase insurance for the password - you don't want anyone else to get a hold of your password do you?

Once the files are ~~approved~~ copied into our library they will be immediately accessible to a worldwide audience.

Please note that due to traffic limitations we can only allow incoming internet connections from users with 28.8kB dial-up modems. Our ~~servers~~ tape backups are already running non-stop and we're still in beta having 2 part time programmers from IS Canada working on our system. Can you imagine the load of data being handled once we go live?

Bear with us as we constantly improve our site. We will soon migrate from CGA to VGA which will require a massive upgrade in local hardware - but also makes your thumbnails look better - yes we thought of it all.

You can kindly donate to our contact email or simply opt-out of royalty payments to donate directly from your sales. Please remember you can only opt-out/in on the second Thursday in November between 3:43am to 3:45am every two years.

Nonetheless we hope the release of our main site will be a successful one coming soon (maybe).

jbryson · « **Reply #26 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:03 »

All policies, rules and compensation methods will change at least daily, based on the previous night's weed smoking, acid dropping, alcohol saturated, mind blowing binges attended by administrators and groupies who support each other's hallucinogenic, brainstorming gushes of hysterical brilliance. Such gatherings to be hosted by the employee of the month.

click_click · « **Reply #27 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:10 »

Quote from: jbryson on July 06, 2012, 10:03

All policies, rules and compensation methods will change at least daily, based on the previous night's weed smoking, acid dropping, alcohol saturated, mind blowing binges attended by administrators and groupies who support each other's hallucinogenic, brainstorming gushes of hysterical brilliance. Such gatherings to be hosted by the employee of the month.

... at the expense of the photographer of the day

jbryson · « **Reply #28 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:29 »

Quote from: click_click on July 06, 2012, 10:10

Quote from: jbryson on July 06, 2012, 10:03
All policies, rules and compensation methods will change at least daily, based on the previous night's weed smoking, acid dropping, alcohol saturated, mind blowing binges attended by administrators and groupies who support each other's hallucinogenic, brainstorming gushes of hysterical brilliance. Such gatherings to be hosted by the employee of the month.
... at the expense of the photographer of the day

lol. Without doubt. Expenses to be padded, over exaggerated and completely undocumented. Any receipts reluctantly provided will be missing important details, and perhaps modified months after the fact. Photographer shall bear the burden of all errors in their entirety. Under no circumstances will grievances be accepted or acknowledged. Administrators will be fitted with cloaks of invisibility. Filters will be placed over photographers' mouths and they will be held creative and financial hostage. Chains and restraints to be tightened regularly. Photographers will tricked into handing over their souls, and cleverly distracted so that hope and passion can be drained, via slow drip, and immediately disposed of as infectious medical waste.

tab62 · « **Reply #29 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:32 »

Ladies and Gents- you are too late on creating this new company - "Most Photos" beat you already

Poncke · « **Reply #30 on:** July 07, 2012, 03:53 »

Quote from: Microstock Man on July 06, 2012, 00:08

Quote
All thumbnails should be 5400x3600 pixels with no watermarks.
Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf licence
Each image requires 9 categories to be assigned from a 14 layer dropdown structure
The page size should be arranged so that even on a 50 inch screen you have to scroll across
Descriptions shall have every second letter A cApItAl AnD iN a DiFfErEnT CoLoUr
Model releases must be submitted on stone tablets
When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it.
The tickbox should be placed over the cancel upload button and when you go to click on it moves.
All images priced in Vanuatu Vatu's
Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals
Every photo needs to split into quarters in photoshop and submitted separately.
Crapstocks mega stitch engine will join them back together in a random order. Sometimes merging from other contributors photos.
All photos directly uploaded to pirate bay anlong with your passport and social security number

Ha! Ah wow, I don't think I have ever yet laughed out loud to myself in this forum, but this did it. LOVE these suggestions.

+ 1 LOLLED as well

First pay increase with 0.1c at 50.000$$ in earnings, second pay increase with 0.2c at 30.000 DLs per photo (also newly added photos included)

Mantis · « **Reply #31 on:** July 07, 2012, 11:50 »

Quote from: Poncke on July 07, 2012, 03:53

Quote from: Microstock Man on July 06, 2012, 00:08
Quote
All thumbnails should be 5400x3600 pixels with no watermarks.
Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf licence
Each image requires 9 categories to be assigned from a 14 layer dropdown structure
The page size should be arranged so that even on a 50 inch screen you have to scroll across
Descriptions shall have every second letter A cApItAl AnD iN a DiFfErEnT CoLoUr
Model releases must be submitted on stone tablets
When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it.
The tickbox should be placed over the cancel upload button and when you go to click on it moves.
All images priced in Vanuatu Vatu's
Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals
Every photo needs to split into quarters in photoshop and submitted separately.
Crapstocks mega stitch engine will join them back together in a random order. Sometimes merging from other contributors photos.
All photos directly uploaded to pirate bay anlong with your passport and social security number

Ha! Ah wow, I don't think I have ever yet laughed out loud to myself in this forum, but this did it. LOVE these suggestions.

+ 1 LOLLED as well

First pay increase with 0.1c at 50.000$$ in earnings, second pay increase with 0.2c at 30.000 DLs per photo (also newly added photos included)

Search defaults to their partner sites who take an additional 50% of your commission.

RacePhoto · « **Reply #32 on:** July 11, 2012, 02:29 »

Quote from: tab62 on July 06, 2012, 10:32

Ladies and Gents- you are too late on creating this new company - "Most Photos" beat you already

Oh that's the user controlled rating system where you can "like" images and move them up the search. Also your rank will go up according to how much you post on the forums. Yeah right, that's been done already. Maybe we can add the missing link in all the social networking. Instead of only being able to give positives, people can also drop negatives on bad images, poor keywords and lower a rank.

This will all lead to insider petty bickering and nasty back stabbing.

I think that would be essential at Crapstock to make sure it has no credibility at all.

stockastic · « **Reply #33 on:** July 11, 2012, 14:46 »

Quote from: RacePhoto on July 11, 2012, 02:29

Quote from: tab62 on July 06, 2012, 10:32
Ladies and Gents- you are too late on creating this new company - "Most Photos" beat you already

Oh that's the user controlled rating system where you can "like" images and move them up the search. Also your rank will go up according to how much you post on the forums. Yeah right, that's been done already. Maybe we can add the missing link in all the social networking. Instead of only being able to give positives, people can also drop negatives on bad images, poor keywords and lower a rank.

This will all lead to insider petty bickering and nasty back stabbing.

I think that would be essential at Crapstock to make sure it has no credibility at all.

Yes, that would be cool. A "flash mob" can take down someone's best seller.