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Microstock Photography Forum - General => General Stock Discussion => Topic started by: Yuri_Arcurs on October 10, 2012, 10:00

Title: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Yuri_Arcurs on October 10, 2012, 10:00
Leaf. Delete my post if you think it is a duplicate, but for those of you that did not get a chance to see this, its worth 30sec:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/60-completely-unusable-stock-photos (http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/60-completely-unusable-stock-photos)

That is probably the biggest laugh I have had this month. OMG. That's how you hit 10mil images! I'm suddenly happy only to have 80000 on peopleimages.com. CRAZY
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: RacePhoto on October 10, 2012, 10:10
Well it answers one question. Cousin It is alive and drinks milk?  :)

Some of those are actually sick.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: rubyroo on October 10, 2012, 10:12
Some of those are very weird, but I wouldn't say they were all completely useless...

For example, I've met a lot of men who ought to wear a 'Princess' sash.  Or perhaps 'Drama Queen' would be better...  :D
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Yuri_Arcurs on October 10, 2012, 10:13
Hehehe. Can't stop launghing. Let's make a game. Let's battle coming up with good titles for these images:
I'll start:

35: "tight pink tongs for men; so you don't have to worry about where it's at....it's tight...it's stabile....it's just right"
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: SIFD on October 10, 2012, 10:23
I'm glad that none of mine on that list  ;D
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: oxman on October 10, 2012, 11:08
HEY!! how did they get access to my portfolio???? :-[
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Toon Vectors on October 10, 2012, 12:24
The article itself is proof that the images are not *completely* useless - although since buzzfeed likely didn't purchase any image licenses for the article, maybe they've got a point.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: luissantos84 on October 10, 2012, 12:30
pretty lame way to tell us about your website AGAIN ;D

honestly I prefer the 100 Million new studio, the 500k lights, the 100 setups on the old studio, the porsche on a windy day etc etc make more of those please!
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: digitalexpressionimages on October 10, 2012, 12:32
Hehehe. Can't stop launghing. Let's make a game. Let's battle coming up with good titles for these images:
I'll start:

35: "tight pink tongs for men; so you don't have to worry about where it's at....it's tight...it's stabile....it's just right"

I did a Google image search for #35 and found 7 pages of results, mostly for articles about "weird and useless stock photos" but not all. Ironically if everyone who blogged about how useless it is had actually licensed it, it wouldn't be useless at all. And the photographer might have made a few bucks.

edit: that shot on DT has been licensed twice so again, weird, but not unusable as the article suggests.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: cthoman on October 10, 2012, 12:44
The article itself is proof that the images are not *completely* useless - although since buzzfeed likely didn't purchase any image licenses for the article, maybe they've got a point.

LOL. I think you are right. There do seem to be a lot of these types articles.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Sean Locke Photography on October 10, 2012, 12:46
Hehehe. Can't stop launghing. Let's make a game. Let's battle coming up with good titles for these images:
I'll start:

35: "tight pink tongs for men; so you don't have to worry about where it's at....it's tight...it's stabile....it's just right"

I'm not sure mocking other peoples' work in public is such a great move for an industry "leader".

Is this the assistant posting again?
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Colette on October 10, 2012, 12:57
Nr 53.
Image of 'Zwarte Piet' (Black Peter) from Sinterklaas- or St Nicolaasfeest.
A familyfeast in the Netherlands, Belgium, South Africa, Suriname, Indonesia, North of France etc.
http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas (http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas)
So not useless, but also not everywhere in use.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: CD123 on October 10, 2012, 13:01
Nr 53.
Image of 'Zwarte Piet' (Black Peter) from Sinterklaas- or St Nicolaasfeest.
A familyfeast in the Netherlands, Belgium, South Africa, Suriname, Indonesia, North of France etc.
[url]http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas[/url] ([url]http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas[/url])
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas[/url] ([url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas[/url])
So not useless, but also not everywhere in use.

No such family feast in South Africa my dear. Just the word Sinterklaas as "father Christmas" figure (guy with the red clothes and white beard) as taken from the Dutch (but not a holiday).
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Poncke on October 10, 2012, 13:10
You are just Jealous Yuri has a wiki article about him and you dont. LOL  ;)
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: CD123 on October 10, 2012, 13:13
Can actually see some of these coming from known sayings, like nr. 2 "Riding on someone's back" to success or whatever. Nr. 33 "Leaving a large footprint" - normally used in environmental terms. Nr. 52 "ending up with egg on your face" - this one seems to have the whole breakfast though. Nr. 58 Junk-food is killing our children (not a saying but relating to the concept).

What bothers me more is that if I had submitted any of these they would probably have been turned down for "bad lighting", "out of focus", "focus not where we think it works best" (and if I had a really good reviewer "not quite what we are looking for").
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Sean Locke Photography on October 10, 2012, 13:20
a wiki article

Now, _that_ is funny. :)
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: rubyroo on October 10, 2012, 13:53
Can actually see some of these coming from known sayings, like nr. 2 "Riding on someone's back" to success or whatever. Nr. 33 "Leaving a large footprint" - normally used in environmental terms. Nr. 52 "ending up with egg on your face" - this one seems to have the whole breakfast though. Nr. 58 Junk-food is killing our children (not a saying but relating to the concept).

Yes, and perhaps it's not a common phrase internationally, but  no. 43 seems to refer to: 'Even his (or her) f*rts smell of roses'.  A saying here that essentially means a person thinks they are so perfect that they can do no wrong.  I thought no. 58 might relate to cooking fumes, but you're probably right. 
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: sharpshot on October 10, 2012, 15:33
No. 58 looks too good to be in the list.  Perhaps this is what the sites want now, as they seem to have too many of the more popular subjects.  I better so some more dog men hoodies holding an axe :)
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Morphart on October 10, 2012, 15:43
Some do have a concepts, but my BEST one is:

#3. I'll stick it in you, you stick it in me.
      Category: X-Rated Senior

They surely have all the tools for a party. Poor bunny is going to get raped!
(http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal01/2011/3/29/17/enhanced-buzz-14894-1301433559-3.jpg)

Along with the granny Popsicle and Gun and boots kid... Some other are downright BAD, overall really funny, thanks for sharing this good laugh!!
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: stockastic on October 10, 2012, 17:38
I think  #11 is actually a very moving  photo.  Which one clings to the stuffed toy, and why? Is it about an affectionate bond in the face of Alzheimer's, or autism?  Several stories are possible.

I could see #31 as someone bravely attempting physical therapy at a point when age and disability are becoming crushing. 

The rest are hilariously senseless.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: noodle on October 10, 2012, 17:55
#2 

Telephone call to wife: " Honey , I'm going to be a little late.... the boss is really riding me..."
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: lisafx on October 10, 2012, 18:15
LOL!  Okay, I have a title for #12.  Harold and Maude. 

I am a fan of #17 guy though.  I have a picture of him doing a cheesy smile with a headset that I downloaded just for fun.  Reminds me of "Peggy" from the Capital One commercials. 
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Suljo on October 10, 2012, 19:18
01 title is> We are just ThingStock, my daddy/greddy is just a thing...
03 gee hubby, I just find new dildo
06 Hallo! You farting bean recipe works well
09 I will be retired/naive young
11 Grandma why you have such big blind eyes...
13 I just lubricate my dck and Paris Hilton just didnt came
15 Just imagine how big seller will this crap of image will bee in 1000x versions of christian churches if Jesus is on my tongue
16 Dont pewee against the wind, just crap in you child potty
18 Drink milk and you will become such as this white toast in my hand
19 I am H&M brother who kill daddy Getty who once sleep here and now I am the boss. Next year You ALL will be on 10% of royalty because of unsustainability of my greedness  :o
21 Iam Mike Ledray photo factory, visit my store for 50000 like this
30 Daddy Getty spoke to you
32 Cmon kitty this carrot came fresh from my but
37 New idea to Mike Ledray how to use Bichon Frise dog as noncomercial value
blahhh
I to tired to coment other crap for now....

Yuri when you will hire me as you master description master for you photos  ;D
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: BK on October 10, 2012, 19:24
#30. DO NOT buy P90X!!
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: noodle on October 10, 2012, 20:09

06 Hallo! You farting bean recipe works well

Yuri when you will hire me as you master description master for you photos  ;D

Suljo your imagination is the envy of crackheads everywhere.... but the 06 one was pretty * funny...
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Morphart on October 10, 2012, 21:11

06 Hallo! You farting bean recipe works well

Yuri when you will hire me as you master description master for you photos  ;D

Suljo your imagination is the envy of crackheads everywhere.... but the 06 one was pretty * funny...

+1
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: lightkeeper on October 11, 2012, 05:50
Hi!

#16 is actually in my wife's portfolio, and had 160+ downloads over the years (100+ on SS), with extended licenses too (on IS)
All in all - not completely useless - there must be something wrong with those buyers ...
:-))))))))))))))))

Not such a big hit at DT ...
[www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-image-santa-budget-transportation-solution-image7276926]
... but not so bad at IS
[www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-7933600-santa-with-budget-transportation-solution.php]
... and definitely not bad at SS
[www.shutterstock.com/pic.mhtml?id=21311407]

;-)
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Yuri_Arcurs on October 11, 2012, 05:57
01 title is> We are just ThingStock, my daddy/greddy is just a thing...
03 gee hubby, I just find new dildo
06 Hallo! You farting bean recipe works well
09 I will be retired/naive young
11 Grandma why you have such big blind eyes...
13 I just lubricate my dck and Paris Hilton just didnt came
15 Just imagine how big seller will this crap of image will bee in 1000x versions of christian churches if Jesus is on my tongue
16 Dont pewee against the wind, just crap in you child potty
18 Drink milk and you will become such as this white toast in my hand
19 I am H&M brother who kill daddy Getty who once sleep here and now I am the boss. Next year You ALL will be on 10% of royalty because of unsustainability of my greedness  :o
21 Iam Mike Ledray photo factory, visit my store for 50000 like this
30 Daddy Getty spoke to you
32 Cmon kitty this carrot came fresh from my but
37 New idea to Mike Ledray how to use Bichon Frise dog as noncomercial value
blahhh
I to tired to coment other crap for now....

Yuri when you will hire me as you master description master for you photos  ;D


HAHAHAHA. You're mad! :)
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: ClaridgeJ on October 11, 2012, 06:10
Yet I bet my last buck some goggled eyed buyer without the slightest knowledge of photography or whatever would buy some of them thinking its the pic of the year.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: fotografer on October 11, 2012, 06:10
Hi!

#16 is actually in my wife's portfolio, and had 160+ downloads over the years (100+ on SS), with extended licenses too (on IS)
All in all - not completely useless - there must be something wrong with those buyers ...
:-))))))))))))))))

That was actually one that I thought shouldn't be there as it is quite a useful image.

Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: leaf on October 11, 2012, 06:11
Hi!

#16 is actually in my wife's portfolio, and had 160+ downloads over the years (100+ on SS), with extended licenses too (on IS)
All in all - not completely useless - there must be something wrong with those buyers ...
:-))))))))))))))))

Not such a big hit at DT ...
[www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-image-santa-budget-transportation-solution-image7276926]
... but not so bad at IS
[www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-7933600-santa-with-budget-transportation-solution.php]
... and definitely not bad at SS
[www.shutterstock.com/pic.mhtml?id=21311407]

;-)


Nice shot. That was actually one of the best stock images of the bunch imo
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: ShadySue on October 11, 2012, 06:55
What's really funny is that some of these are from Getty.
In generous mood, I wondered if some of these were leftovers from bizarre commercial shoots.
@Suljo: I don't know what you're on, but I don't want to try it. Funny, though.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Yuri_Arcurs on October 11, 2012, 06:58
I agree. 16 is not a bad shot at all. That is actually a pretty good conceptual shot! Misplaced on the list.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: ShadySue on October 11, 2012, 07:04
Yet I bet my last buck some goggled eyed buyer without the slightest knowledge of photography or whatever would buy some of them thinking its the pic of the year.
Doesn't matter: if it fits their purpose, it's a good and useful file for them.
Keywording some of them so that they might be found for that odd use would be difficult.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: grafix04 on October 11, 2012, 18:12
The resemblance between #57 and Sean Locke is uncanny.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: Suljo on October 11, 2012, 19:17
Hi!

#16 is actually in my wife's portfolio, and had 160+ downloads over the years (100+ on SS), with extended licenses too (on IS)
All in all - not completely useless - there must be something wrong with those buyers ...
:-))))))))))))))))

Not such a big hit at DT ...
[www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-image-santa-budget-transportation-solution-image7276926]
... but not so bad at IS
[www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-7933600-santa-with-budget-transportation-solution.php]
... and definitely not bad at SS
[www.shutterstock.com/pic.mhtml?id=21311407]

;-)


Sorry if my description of shoot No16 insult you
My first thing what I saw is flying tie without any dynamics on hat or on any other body or cloth feature?

anyhow you shoot can evolve at next stage, something like this, maybe with one hand up like Superman :) Because Santa is very very fast...
eg.
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: lightkeeper on October 12, 2012, 03:06

Sorry if my description of shoot No16 insult you
My first thing what I saw is flying tie without any dynamics on hat or on any other body or cloth feature?

anyhow you shoot can evolve at next stage, something like this, maybe with one hand up like Superman :) Because Santa is very very fast...
eg.

No harm was done. We are proud of our crappy images too :-)))))
On the issue of "evolving" this image ... holding one arm up would certainly cause the (metallic - at least 10kg) car to fall on the model toes - so the expression you suggested would be given naturally ... hmmm ... have to try ;-)
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: somethingpretentious on October 12, 2012, 09:51
Here are some great niche idears

Patrick Wilson's Stock Photos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEr2xcgwEVc#ws)

I think ficus tree concepts will be huge in 2013..

Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: SA on October 13, 2012, 05:08
Number 6: "Thats why I didn't go to college!"
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: cathyslife on October 13, 2012, 06:38
Patrick Wilson video ... too funny!  ;D I kind of liked him in A Gifted Man, I must have been the only one since they pulled it after a few episodes. Was he really a stock photo model or is that just a spoof?
Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: mike ledray on November 10, 2012, 11:09
01 title is> We are just ThingStock, my daddy/greddy is just a thing...
03 gee hubby, I just find new dildo
06 Hallo! You farting bean recipe works well
09 I will be retired/naive young
11 Grandma why you have such big blind eyes...
13 I just lubricate my dck and Paris Hilton just didnt came
15 Just imagine how big seller will this crap of image will bee in 1000x versions of christian churches if Jesus is on my tongue
16 Dont pewee against the wind, just crap in you child potty
18 Drink milk and you will become such as this white toast in my hand
19 I am H&M brother who kill daddy Getty who once sleep here and now I am the boss. Next year You ALL will be on 10% of royalty because of unsustainability of my greedness  :o
21 Iam Mike Ledray photo factory, visit my store for 50000 like this
30 Daddy Getty spoke to you
32 Cmon kitty this carrot came fresh from my but
37 New idea to Mike Ledray how to use Bichon Frise dog as noncomercial value
blahhh
I to tired to coment other crap for now....

Yuri when you will hire me as you master description master for you photos  ;D



HAHAHAHA. You're mad! :)



LOL!
I am honored to be mentioned again!
Thank You one and all.
http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-49462417/stock-photo-a-mother-and-son-enjoy-hot-fresh-baked-cookies-in-their-kitchen-while-wearing-gas-masks-in-a-post.html?src=584d583d85ea7d374f7d75a7b50dd227-1-0 (http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-49462417/stock-photo-a-mother-and-son-enjoy-hot-fresh-baked-cookies-in-their-kitchen-while-wearing-gas-masks-in-a-post.html?src=584d583d85ea7d374f7d75a7b50dd227-1-0)

Even when im done with the stupidity of many of these forums and im off on a diffrent business venture, apparently I am missed!
:)

Title: Re: Hilarious - Completely Useless Stock Images!!!!
Post by: JPSDK on November 10, 2012, 11:14
Hi Mike!