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Author Topic: I am starting a new stockphotowebsite ..  (Read 20920 times)

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RacePhoto

« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2008, 21:33 »
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By popular demand the unfortunatecantstopphoto referral program

For each user you refer they get 5% of your earnings ad infinitum - you can refer up to 20 users!

While your referral plan is the best in the business, I'm going exclusive at Snap Village. I heard the village is turning into a city...  ;) The message came up time after time when I was trying to upload. I think there's a hidden message in that, which only I can see.

Good luck with "BigLuckyStockPhotoiVillage" (can't have a name without having Stock or Photo in it, can you?)

Quote
Firefox can't find the server at www.unfortunatecantstopphoto.com
  ;D
« Last Edit: March 13, 2008, 13:31 by RacePhoto »


« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2008, 21:49 »
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I ran all the suggested names through a new freeware application I found on the siteofthedamned.com site. Turns out that none of the names above made it through the Voodoo, Damned or Possessed filters.

The software also came up with some suggested names for new ventures but suddenly my computer seems to be doing funny

« Reply #27 on: March 12, 2008, 19:28 »
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Hey,  can I get a free tee-shirt??? 

« Reply #28 on: March 12, 2008, 23:27 »
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Hey,  can I get a free tee-shirt???

You're too cheap! What about this one?

« Reply #29 on: March 13, 2008, 11:32 »
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When do we get a raise?

RT


« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2008, 12:34 »
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Your site sucks,

 I submitted my best isolated shots of the first ten things I saw on my desk, I took them all on an off white background (apart from the bit where I spilt my tea) and made sure I used my best torch to light them, then I increased the saturation in Photoshop 4 to +65 and upsized the photo from my native 1.5mp camera phone to 112mp to ensure I could sell it as an XXXXXXXL to get a better commision.
I wrote sexy,bitch,young,stud,money,background,emo,emu,emi,ema and grunge,gringe,gronge in all the keywords.
Out of the nine your blind reviewers accepted yesterday only one has had a download as an XXXXXS for which I've received  $0.00012.
Your search results are clearly biased for anyone who's name is Bryan.

Now if I don't get an appology and the recipe for your wifes lemon ice cream I'm going to remove my portfolio of 24 photo's and take them elsewhere.

« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2008, 12:41 »
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When do we get a raise?
We will raise the bar for quality like CanStockPhoto. Happy?

From now on we will also include only the last 10 keywords in the search engine, and only those longer than 8 characters.
All landscape photos should be landscape (H) and all portraits portrait (V).

Horizons should be horizontal, give or take 2.69 pixels.
In case of married male models, a mother-in-law release should be uploaded too. In case of sexy girls, make sure her telephone number is very clear and in print;D

« Reply #32 on: March 13, 2008, 15:28 »
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You guys are just tooooooooo funny!  ;D

« Reply #33 on: March 13, 2008, 15:36 »
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It's been a while since I laught this hard  ;D ;D

« Reply #34 on: March 14, 2008, 02:32 »
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If I post 239 threads on your contributor-only forum showing everyone my "cakes and sweets" will the sales magically go through the roof for my images that so far haven't had any sales for the 3 years they've been online?

RT


« Reply #35 on: March 14, 2008, 07:16 »
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"Limited commercial value"

Have you guys never heard of the term 'the dogs bollocks' !!!!

« Reply #36 on: March 14, 2008, 07:55 »
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If I post 239 threads on your contributor-only forum showing everyone my "cakes and sweets" will the sales magically go through the roof for my images that so far haven't had any sales for the 3 years they've been online?

I spoke with support (a rather rude lemur), and they said only threads showing pictures with the theme "the color blue" will be allowed.  All others will be deleted and the posters' accounts will be suspended pending further review.  Something about wanting to keep the site's image as professional as possible, unlike others....

« Reply #37 on: March 14, 2008, 12:11 »
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If I post 239 threads on your contributor-only forum showing everyone my "cakes and sweets" will the sales magically go through the roof for my images that so far haven't had any sales for the 3 years they've been online?

Bluntly said, no Holgs. You totally seem to miss the point of commercial microstock and the kind of business we are building. As it happens, we had a Ballyhoo about this recently in my Bermuda Marriott rooftop suite sipping liters of prime Veuve Cliquot 2001 with our other 89 CEOs.  ::)

A quality site like ours is not about the photographers, but it is about us:D You see, photographers are a commodity and Bermuda Marriott rooftop suites don't come cheap. A successful MS site has operational costs too and I'd surely would like to upgrade to Veuve Cliquot 1999 next month.  :P

Thousand of new stock photographers are born every day in China, in India, in Eastern Europe, - and given some time lurking in all the free tutorials on the net and on forums (mostly done by overfed over-egoed stock photographers like yourself, wasting their time instead of doing photography) they will get good, they will get better and especially, they will be cheaper than you, populating all the new 1-cent subscription sites with their flashy Nokia 24MPs.  ;)

That's why we have such a competitive advantage with our dowload all you can for 0.99$ yearly innovative superstition plan (SuperScription++ TM). We are targeted towards rapid growth and ultimate customer satisfaction. In a grand scheme like this, there is no need at all for naggers, whiners and touters in our VomitoriumTM:(

Only 3 threads will be allowed. Our own milestones thread, a contributors thread in which you are cordially invited to post like wow I feel so happy to be here, and fantastic, this site rocks:o
The third thread will be very relaxed though. Anything goes, as long as it's about Veuve Cliquot:-*

Hope this helps.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2008, 12:16 by FlemishDreams »

RacePhoto

« Reply #38 on: March 14, 2008, 13:20 »
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Now that the site seems to be more and more popular, I suggest that you start charging photographers for the right to give their photos away for nearly nothing, and give away that 5% referral fee to others who claim it.

You can have a SmugStock sub-section for people who want to pay, to make nothing, peer review to get accepted and annual subscription, plus photogs have to pay for bandwidth and pay per view if a file is clicked and not downloaded. (now there's a new way of looking at pay-per-view)

With the SmugMeasures ranking plan, if you make a sale, your rank will be dropped according to a mysterious formula comprised of todays weather in a random spot in the South Pacific near Palmyra, factored by the number of days, before or after your birthday, whichever is larger, and divided by the  minutes of high tide on Orkney since the last full Moon.

All people with no sales, will have their rank increased to fill the vacated positions. This way, no one person will ever get ahead of the rest of the pack in the search engines. This will also end all debate and questioning why your rank has dropped, right after a big sale, and re-writing all you keywords.


« Reply #39 on: March 14, 2008, 17:08 »
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Great news! Wow! Super! Wonderful! This site is the best. You guys always come out with the best ideas!!!  ;D  ;D  ;D

When do we get a raise?
We will raise the bar for quality like CanStockPhoto. Happy?

From now on we will also include only the last 10 keywords in the search engine, and only those longer than 8 characters.
All landscape photos should be landscape (H) and all portraits portrait (V).

Horizons should be horizontal, give or take 2.69 pixels.
In case of married male models, a mother-in-law release should be uploaded too. In case of sexy girls, make sure her telephone number is very clear and in print;D

« Reply #40 on: March 14, 2008, 17:11 »
0
Hey,  can I get a free tee-shirt???

You're too cheap! What about this one?


..................ah,  does this mean .....ah, no shirt?  How about a bumper sticker???

suwanneeredhead

  • O.I.D. Sufferer (Obsessive Illustration Disorder)
« Reply #41 on: March 15, 2008, 20:09 »
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CLASSIC! Thanks for sharing that!


« Reply #42 on: March 15, 2008, 20:18 »
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This new site is so tempting that I'm considering going exclusive.

« Reply #43 on: March 16, 2008, 14:50 »
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Yes, I was considering going exclusive also, but then I read the fine print of the submitter contract and was turned off by the phrase "if you become exclusive here you must remain exclusive here for the remainder of your life."   A 10- or 20-year exclusive commitment I can deal with, but a lifetime??  No, thanks!

« Reply #44 on: March 16, 2008, 15:01 »
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I uploaded my vast collection of Blue Ocean Images (all 10,000 of them) and guess what ,all rejected on copyright issues. I didn't know that images of the ocean where copyrighted. Could someone please help me with this? Is there a link to get more information? and if is true what can I do with all this water?

« Reply #45 on: March 16, 2008, 15:07 »
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Racephoto wrote:
You can have a SmugStock sub-section for people who want to pay, to make nothing, peer review to get accepted and annual subscription, plus photogs have to pay for bandwidth and pay per view if a file is clicked and not downloaded. (now there's a new way of looking at pay-per-view)

With the SmugMeasures ranking plan, if you make a sale, your rank will be dropped according to a mysterious formula comprised of todays weather in a random spot in the South Pacific near Palmyra, factored by the number of days, before or after your birthday, whichever is larger, and divided by the  minutes of high tide on Orkney since the last full Moon.

All people with no sales, will have their rank increased to fill the vacated positions. This way, no one person will ever get ahead of the rest of the pack in the search engines. This will also end all debate and questioning why your rank has dropped, right after a big sale, and re-writing all you keywords.


[/quote]

Wait, wait that allready is happening ;)
« Last Edit: March 16, 2008, 15:08 by jorgeinthewater »

« Reply #46 on: March 16, 2008, 15:26 »
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I uploaded my vast collection of Blue Ocean Images (all 10,000 of them) and guess what ,all rejected on copyright issues. I didn't know that images of the ocean where copyrighted. Could someone please help me with this? Is there a link to get more information? and if is true what can I do with all this water?

How can we expect a lemur to understand the concept of "copyright?"
(For that matter, how can we expect Istock to understand the concept of "copyright?")

vonkara

« Reply #47 on: March 16, 2008, 16:44 »
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Racephoto wrote:
 plus photogs have to pay for bandwidth and pay per view if a file is clicked and not downloaded. (now there's a new way of looking at pay-per-view)

I like this feature. And a good thing will be that the search engine work whit how many time you be log on in the site. That would make an other form of exclusivity. People taking time to upload elsewhere will be disadvantaged while others who don't go anywhere else in the net would be in the best match. That work also for the designers each year taking by the designers log on on the site will making them having a price reduction.

I written that but I'm still not sure what all this is about, but it's kind of funny

« Reply #48 on: March 16, 2008, 18:40 »
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I think Exclusivity should require that contributors download a monitoring program that crashes their system if they try to visit any other site on the web.  (I don't think this will phase Windows users as we're used to it but it will drive Mac users crazy.)

For a bonus you could give this same "program" to your customers as a gift.  Sales would skyrocket.

« Reply #49 on: March 16, 2008, 21:15 »
0
I think Exclusivity should require that contributors download a monitoring program that crashes their system if they try to visit any other site on the web.  (I don't think this will phase Windows users as we're used to it but it will drive Mac users crazy.)

For a bonus you could give this same "program" to your customers as a gift.  Sales would skyrocket.

 :D


 

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