Author Topic: Lets help Race Photo design "Crapstock.com" (Read 28103 times)

chromaco · « **on:** June 29, 2012, 21:43 »

I'll start-
Inspectors should use a color slide wheel like in the game "twister" and as long the main color of the image doesn't match the color selected on the spinner the image is approved.

Pricing should be determined by a very complicated and convoluted algorithm involving the time of the day and the contributor's astrological sign.

Royalty % would start at 95% and every 10-14 days a message would appear in an obscure place in the forums announcing the rate has been dropped by .5%

luissantos84 · « **Reply #1 on:** June 29, 2012, 21:49 »

ahahahahahahah how long you took to write this? amazing love it

I will add one:

- live support with woman/man in lingerie depending the buyer/contributor sexual orientation

Pixart · « **Reply #2 on:** June 29, 2012, 21:50 »

Needs to carry a theme... circus... village.... psych ward...

CD123 · « **Reply #3 on:** June 30, 2012, 01:14 »

A drop down menu when you submit your images where you can select your own rejection reason.

Lucky draw, where every 10th new contributor win 150 uploads without review.

A contact section with a predefined single heading "I want to quit and delete all my images". You are blocked from typing anything in the text area and when you press submit an automatic popup displays the message " You can't, sucker!"

Oh yes and thumb images are unproportionally scaled to fit the 200x100 pixel thumbs size.

fotografer · « **Reply #4 on:** June 30, 2012, 02:34 »

The people that churn out thousands and thousands of similar images are rewarded for their crappy efforts by getting them all put at the front of the seaches

Microbius · « **Reply #5 on:** June 30, 2012, 03:14 »

Name should have nothing to do with photography. I think it was Lisa that came up with the best agency name when SnapVillage was being discussed:- Sh*tHamlet

etienjones · « **Reply #6 on:** June 30, 2012, 04:57 »

Categories, Yes, many Categories . . . . . I'd say at least 400 Categories with 10 sub-categories for each of them. . . . . NOT

noodle · « **Reply #7 on:** June 30, 2012, 05:59 »

dont forget - whenever an inage gets Approved you will be given a reason WHY it was accepted - i.e. poor composition, lcv, artifacts visible at 50% view, etc

Hope fully they pay per up
load...

RacePhoto · « **Reply #8 on:** July 02, 2012, 01:17 »

Quote from: chromaco on June 29, 2012, 21:43

I'll start-
Inspectors should use a color slide wheel like in the game "twister" and as long the main color of the image doesn't match the color selected on the spinner the image is approved.

Pricing should be determined by a very complicated and convoluted algorithm involving the time of the day and the contributor's astrological sign.

Royalty % would start at 95% and every 10-14 days a message would appear in an obscure place in the forums announcing the rate has been dropped by .5%

Thanks for the idea and everyone for all the help.

No Subs by the way. Everything OD. I think the idea is minimum price would be $1000 license fee and one sale a year would cover all expenses?

I just did a three day weekend, so as usual during the Summer I don't get much done. Even more amazing (like taking away a pacifier from a little baby) I didn't take my laptop, netbook or even the Kindle. (oh no?) No internet for three days. Heat = terrible mosquito outbreak at the campground. I think I took five photos the whole time, which is less than I take driving home some days.

Three days working outside and camping and I didn't fake this:

image host

Hot Hot Hot!

LSD72 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 02, 2012, 07:05 »

And there is the first approved photo ^^^

cathyslife · « **Reply #10 on:** July 02, 2012, 08:08 »

Quote from: LSD72 on July 02, 2012, 07:05

And there is the first approved photo ^^^

RolMat · « **Reply #11 on:** July 02, 2012, 08:43 »

ruxpriencdiam · « **Reply #12 on:** July 02, 2012, 10:45 »

Everyone will be required to submit at least one image of a Phlange that is totally OOF and full of noise.

RacePhoto · « **Reply #13 on:** July 02, 2012, 11:49 »

Quote from: ruxpriencdiam on July 02, 2012, 10:45

Everyone will be required to submit at least one image of a Phlange that is totally OOF and full of noise.

No we're getting there.

http://crapstock.weebly.com/

I posted this in off topic, maybe this thread belongs there also?

There will never (almost positively, NEVER)

be submitted photos for sale on Crapstock, nor will anyone ever get a photo accepted. (except me of course!) I may offer a place for personal obscure rejections, probably a bot creating random rejections?

However now that you mentioned Phlange, maybe I'll have a photo contest where people pay to enter (like the scams that are already running as fun raisers and contests), a winner will be declared and the top 12 will be on the CrapStock Phlange calendar for 2013 (which I will sell for a personal profit also, no payment to "entrants" of course...) And I'm thinking there will be a pay affiliate link program, for anyone who wants to have their site linked from the CrapStock family of fine photo sites. LOL

Sorry but Barbara never answered, I think she's going to keep the site and the name, now that's it's gotten all this free promotion?

oxman · « **Reply #14 on:** July 02, 2012, 15:04 »

I just deposited $1000 in my PayPal account. Can I buy that digital thermometer photo? Please!!!

stockastic · « **Reply #15 on:** July 02, 2012, 15:22 »

All images are free; the site is ad-supported. Contributors are promised .01 cent per click-through. However all the banner ads lead to sites that install malware and Crapstock's real source of income is reselling stolen VISA numbers.

RacePhoto · « **Reply #16 on:** July 02, 2012, 16:27 »

Quote from: stockastic on July 02, 2012, 15:22

All images are free; the site is ad-supported. Contributors are promised .01 cent per click-through. However all the banner ads lead to sites that install malware and Crapstock's real source of income is reselling stolen VISA numbers.

Oh I forgot about that one, nice addition. Do I have to host the site in parts of the former Soviet Union, China or some offshore island?

Here's another partner site. I think that makes five now?

http://gizex.com/crapstock/

qwerty · « **Reply #17 on:** July 02, 2012, 17:47 »

Quote from: Microbius on June 30, 2012, 03:14

Name should have nothing to do with photography. I think it was Lisa that came up with the best agency name when SnapVillage was being discussed:- Sh*tHamlet

I thought it was craphamlet.

All thumbnails should be 5400x3600 pixels with no watermarks.
Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf licence
Each image requires 9 categories to be assigned from a 14 layer dropdown structure
The page size should be arranged so that even on a 50 inch screen you have to scroll across
Descriptions shall have every second letter A cApItAl AnD iN a DiFfErEnT CoLoUr
Model releases must be submitted on stone tablets
When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it.
The tickbox should be placed over the cancel upload button and when you go to click on it moves.
All images priced in Vanuatu Vatu's
Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals
Every photo needs to split into quarters in photoshop and submitted separately.
Crapstocks mega stitch engine will join them back together in a random order. Sometimes merging from other contributors photos.
All photos directly uploaded to pirate bay anlong with your passport and social security number

RacePhoto · « **Reply #18 on:** July 02, 2012, 23:27 »

"Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals" now you're talkin'!

By the way how's a 48 cent EL sound on IS? Got that this week. (additional information, I found it, it's an audio file, I wish all of them were 48 cents?)

"Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf license" it's already here?

"When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it."

Any rejected keyword will be an automatic failed submission and you'll have to start all over again with a new upload. Lets go for maximum frustration levels and stupidity. Kind of like somewhere we all know and love where a bad keyword doesn't get removed, your file gets rejected. And the word actually has a direct meaning for the image.

qwerty · « **Reply #19 on:** July 03, 2012, 00:35 »

I must disclose that some of my ideas we're "inspired" from actually agency systems, policy etc.

RacePhoto · « **Reply #20 on:** July 04, 2012, 00:02 »

Quote from: qwerty on July 03, 2012, 00:35

I must disclose that some of my ideas we're "inspired" from actually agency systems, policy etc.

That's what made them so good.

Tryingmybest · « **Reply #21 on:** July 05, 2012, 22:44 »

Quote from: chromaco on June 29, 2012, 21:43

I'll start-
Inspectors should use a color slide wheel like in the game "twister" and as long the main color of the image doesn't match the color selected on the spinner the image is approved.

Pricing should be determined by a very complicated and convoluted algorithm involving the time of the day and the contributor's astrological sign.

Royalty % would start at 95% and every 10-14 days a message would appear in an obscure place in the forums announcing the rate has been dropped by .5%

I like everything but commissions. It should be a flat-rate of one U.S. penny for each download (unlimited size) and free to the buyer.

THP Creative · « **Reply #22 on:** July 06, 2012, 00:08 »

Quote

All thumbnails should be 5400x3600 pixels with no watermarks.
Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf licence
Each image requires 9 categories to be assigned from a 14 layer dropdown structure
The page size should be arranged so that even on a 50 inch screen you have to scroll across
Descriptions shall have every second letter A cApItAl AnD iN a DiFfErEnT CoLoUr
Model releases must be submitted on stone tablets
When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it.
The tickbox should be placed over the cancel upload button and when you go to click on it moves.
All images priced in Vanuatu Vatu's
Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals
Every photo needs to split into quarters in photoshop and submitted separately.
Crapstocks mega stitch engine will join them back together in a random order. Sometimes merging from other contributors photos.
All photos directly uploaded to pirate bay anlong with your passport and social security number

Ha! Ah wow, I don't think I have ever yet laughed out loud to myself in this forum, but this did it. LOVE these suggestions.

JPSDK · « **Reply #23 on:** July 06, 2012, 01:03 »

A list of well selling photos you can copy.
An annoying illogical upload procedure where you have to translate your keywords into chinese.
An upload feature that strips IPTC data and puts a random keyword from another picture into the headline.
A forum where you can sell kittens and other pets.
Colourblind reviewers.

qwerty · « **Reply #24 on:** July 06, 2012, 04:14 »

Quote from: Microstock Man on July 06, 2012, 00:08

Quote
All thumbnails should be 5400x3600 pixels with no watermarks.
Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf licence
Each image requires 9 categories to be assigned from a 14 layer dropdown structure
The page size should be arranged so that even on a 50 inch screen you have to scroll across
Descriptions shall have every second letter A cApItAl AnD iN a DiFfErEnT CoLoUr
Model releases must be submitted on stone tablets
When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it.
The tickbox should be placed over the cancel upload button and when you go to click on it moves.
All images priced in Vanuatu Vatu's
Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals
Every photo needs to split into quarters in photoshop and submitted separately.
Crapstocks mega stitch engine will join them back together in a random order. Sometimes merging from other contributors photos.
All photos directly uploaded to pirate bay anlong with your passport and social security number

Ha! Ah wow, I don't think I have ever yet laughed out loud to myself in this forum, but this did it. LOVE these suggestions.

Glad to lift the mood around here

click_click · « **Reply #25 on:** July 06, 2012, 07:56 »

In order to streamline the uploading process, all submissions have to be sent in on 5 1/4 inch floppy disks. If the 1.2 MB capacity limit is not enough, simply zip the images into 1.2 MB large ZIP files and save them on multiple discs.

You are allowed to use 3.5 inch floppy discs for footage submissions due to the increased storage space and to save the environment.

Please make sure to password protect your ZIP files. For security reasons please kindly mail the password (not shorter than 55 characters), written on a paper napkin via postal mail. Please make sure to purchase insurance for the password - you don't want anyone else to get a hold of your password do you?

Once the files are ~~approved~~ copied into our library they will be immediately accessible to a worldwide audience.

Please note that due to traffic limitations we can only allow incoming internet connections from users with 28.8kB dial-up modems. Our ~~servers~~ tape backups are already running non-stop and we're still in beta having 2 part time programmers from IS Canada working on our system. Can you imagine the load of data being handled once we go live?

Bear with us as we constantly improve our site. We will soon migrate from CGA to VGA which will require a massive upgrade in local hardware - but also makes your thumbnails look better - yes we thought of it all.

You can kindly donate to our contact email or simply opt-out of royalty payments to donate directly from your sales. Please remember you can only opt-out/in on the second Thursday in November between 3:43am to 3:45am every two years.

Nonetheless we hope the release of our main site will be a successful one coming soon (maybe).

jbryson · « **Reply #26 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:03 »

All policies, rules and compensation methods will change at least daily, based on the previous night's weed smoking, acid dropping, alcohol saturated, mind blowing binges attended by administrators and groupies who support each other's hallucinogenic, brainstorming gushes of hysterical brilliance. Such gatherings to be hosted by the employee of the month.

click_click · « **Reply #27 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:10 »

Quote from: jbryson on July 06, 2012, 10:03

All policies, rules and compensation methods will change at least daily, based on the previous night's weed smoking, acid dropping, alcohol saturated, mind blowing binges attended by administrators and groupies who support each other's hallucinogenic, brainstorming gushes of hysterical brilliance. Such gatherings to be hosted by the employee of the month.

... at the expense of the photographer of the day

jbryson · « **Reply #28 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:29 »

Quote from: click_click on July 06, 2012, 10:10

Quote from: jbryson on July 06, 2012, 10:03
All policies, rules and compensation methods will change at least daily, based on the previous night's weed smoking, acid dropping, alcohol saturated, mind blowing binges attended by administrators and groupies who support each other's hallucinogenic, brainstorming gushes of hysterical brilliance. Such gatherings to be hosted by the employee of the month.
... at the expense of the photographer of the day

lol. Without doubt. Expenses to be padded, over exaggerated and completely undocumented. Any receipts reluctantly provided will be missing important details, and perhaps modified months after the fact. Photographer shall bear the burden of all errors in their entirety. Under no circumstances will grievances be accepted or acknowledged. Administrators will be fitted with cloaks of invisibility. Filters will be placed over photographers' mouths and they will be held creative and financial hostage. Chains and restraints to be tightened regularly. Photographers will tricked into handing over their souls, and cleverly distracted so that hope and passion can be drained, via slow drip, and immediately disposed of as infectious medical waste.

tab62 · « **Reply #29 on:** July 06, 2012, 10:32 »

Ladies and Gents- you are too late on creating this new company - "Most Photos" beat you already

Poncke · « **Reply #30 on:** July 07, 2012, 03:53 »

Quote from: Microstock Man on July 06, 2012, 00:08

Quote
All thumbnails should be 5400x3600 pixels with no watermarks.
Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf licence
Each image requires 9 categories to be assigned from a 14 layer dropdown structure
The page size should be arranged so that even on a 50 inch screen you have to scroll across
Descriptions shall have every second letter A cApItAl AnD iN a DiFfErEnT CoLoUr
Model releases must be submitted on stone tablets
When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it.
The tickbox should be placed over the cancel upload button and when you go to click on it moves.
All images priced in Vanuatu Vatu's
Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals
Every photo needs to split into quarters in photoshop and submitted separately.
Crapstocks mega stitch engine will join them back together in a random order. Sometimes merging from other contributors photos.
All photos directly uploaded to pirate bay anlong with your passport and social security number

Ha! Ah wow, I don't think I have ever yet laughed out loud to myself in this forum, but this did it. LOVE these suggestions.

+ 1 LOLLED as well

First pay increase with 0.1c at 50.000$$ in earnings, second pay increase with 0.2c at 30.000 DLs per photo (also newly added photos included)

Mantis · « **Reply #31 on:** July 07, 2012, 11:50 »

Quote from: Poncke on July 07, 2012, 03:53

Quote from: Microstock Man on July 06, 2012, 00:08
Quote
All thumbnails should be 5400x3600 pixels with no watermarks.
Extended licenses should be cheaper than normal rf licence
Each image requires 9 categories to be assigned from a 14 layer dropdown structure
The page size should be arranged so that even on a 50 inch screen you have to scroll across
Descriptions shall have every second letter A cApItAl AnD iN a DiFfErEnT CoLoUr
Model releases must be submitted on stone tablets
When you submit images you have to tick a yes or no box for every keyword to accept it.
The tickbox should be placed over the cancel upload button and when you go to click on it moves.
All images priced in Vanuatu Vatu's
Every photo you have to assign the GPS location, date and time in roman numerals
Every photo needs to split into quarters in photoshop and submitted separately.
Crapstocks mega stitch engine will join them back together in a random order. Sometimes merging from other contributors photos.
All photos directly uploaded to pirate bay anlong with your passport and social security number

Ha! Ah wow, I don't think I have ever yet laughed out loud to myself in this forum, but this did it. LOVE these suggestions.

+ 1 LOLLED as well

First pay increase with 0.1c at 50.000$$ in earnings, second pay increase with 0.2c at 30.000 DLs per photo (also newly added photos included)

Search defaults to their partner sites who take an additional 50% of your commission.

RacePhoto · « **Reply #32 on:** July 11, 2012, 02:29 »

Quote from: tab62 on July 06, 2012, 10:32

Ladies and Gents- you are too late on creating this new company - "Most Photos" beat you already

Oh that's the user controlled rating system where you can "like" images and move them up the search. Also your rank will go up according to how much you post on the forums. Yeah right, that's been done already. Maybe we can add the missing link in all the social networking. Instead of only being able to give positives, people can also drop negatives on bad images, poor keywords and lower a rank.

This will all lead to insider petty bickering and nasty back stabbing.

I think that would be essential at Crapstock to make sure it has no credibility at all.

stockastic · « **Reply #33 on:** July 11, 2012, 14:46 »

Quote from: RacePhoto on July 11, 2012, 02:29

Quote from: tab62 on July 06, 2012, 10:32
Ladies and Gents- you are too late on creating this new company - "Most Photos" beat you already

Oh that's the user controlled rating system where you can "like" images and move them up the search. Also your rank will go up according to how much you post on the forums. Yeah right, that's been done already. Maybe we can add the missing link in all the social networking. Instead of only being able to give positives, people can also drop negatives on bad images, poor keywords and lower a rank.

This will all lead to insider petty bickering and nasty back stabbing.

I think that would be essential at Crapstock to make sure it has no credibility at all.

Yes, that would be cool. A "flash mob" can take down someone's best seller.

ann · « **Reply #34 on:** July 11, 2012, 18:39 »

(edited - on 2nd thought, it wasn't that funny)

RacePhoto · « **Reply #35 on:** July 14, 2012, 10:34 »

Quote from: ann on July 11, 2012, 18:39

(edited - on 2nd thought, it wasn't that funny)

Oh darn, I thought it was, and now it's gone...

The whole concept of CrapStock might be marginally amusing for a short time? One reason why I never registered the site name.

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Author Topic: Lets help Race Photo design "Crapstock.com" (Read 28103 times)

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