hello all

I read this thread, My day job: art teacher for kindergartner and 1st graders...... the school I teach in has single sex classes, so it's all boys or all girls. The boys classes are much more difficult to deal with because the boys are constantly arguing.

So, this is the sort of argument I see all day, the following is a written dramatization of how I would handle this:

rob: Ms. G... Ms. G........ Jon threatened me!

Ms. G (that's me): What do you mean he threatened you?

rob: He threatened my livelihood!
please note rob has mustered up a tear.

Ms G:Jon come over here
Jon slowly walks over, with a sour look on his face.

as soon as Jon is close enough, rob start crying and wining:He threatened my livelyhood, it's not fair, i can say whatever I want

Ms. G: Jon..... Did you threaten Rob livelihood?

Jon:No.
he would say this kicking the dirt, looking down. then he would get very excited and add.
He called me a twit!

Rob: I did not..... I called you a bit of a twit, besides it's a free country and I can say whatever I want!

This is where I would get to the solution part...

First Rob, he is the easy one......

Ms. G: Rob, while yes, it is a free country. It's not nice to call someone that you have to be around a "twit". You can think or say whatever you like, but don't you think that you may hurt his feelings? Would you want someone to call you a "twit"? That is not what nice people do, and I know that you're a nice person, so I think you may owe him an apology. What do you think?

I would wait for it to sink in to Rob's head that he hurt Jon's feelings and that is why Jon reacted the way he did. And as I said, Rob is a nice person and probably didn't mean to hurt Jon's feelings with and off hand remark. He probably apologize and then go play.

Then I would have to have a more serious conversation with Jon. I would get down to his level and talk in low tones..... Because of his reaction to Rob I would know that Jon is a very sensitive person and reacts harshly.

Ms. G: Jon, I realize your feelings were hurt by what Rob said, it was insensitive of him.  but, wiether you realize it or not you have power over Rob's livelihood, the boy needs to make a living. When you say things about deleting his portfolio, it's much more serious. I think you may have overreacted to this, and lashed out. As I say I know your feelings were hurt, but your reaction was way overboard and makes you look bad here on the playground. If the other boys and girls think that you are going to lord your power over them, and take their livelihoods away at the drop of a hat, they are not going to want to play with you anymore. As Spiderman says, "With great power comes great responsibility". I think you have to do two things here, first: apologize to Rob. Second: Do some long hard thinking about who you are and what power you have. 

OK this has been a long post. And I am sure Rob and Jon are not pleased to be compared to Kindergartners.... but, my answer to that is, if you don't like being compared to Kindergartners, don't act like one.

(OH NO SHE DI-ENT......Oh , yes I did)