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Author Topic: Totally Off Topic  (Read 4806 times)

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« on: October 08, 2008, 13:32 »
I have known you guys on here for a long time now and know that in general you are a very friendly bunch of people with good heads on your shoulders.  I have a problem that I was hoping you could offer your opinions on.

I have a cousin (by marriage and no blood relation at all). Ever since we were kids I had strong feelings for her. Over the years we have moved apart and don't see her very often. Maybe once a year. I have also been dating a girl for 7 years and she has a daughter who is now 9.

Recently my cousin and I have been talking on Facebook and I have a strong feeling of wanting to tell her how I've been feeling for all these years. What I really want to know by telling her is if it has been just me all this time, or if she shares these feelings.

I don't think there is any chance at all that I would cheat on my current gf, but I have had this question in my mind and these feelings for her for almost as long as I can remember. What would you do?

I am currently 25. male

« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2008, 14:37 »
Um, this may not be the proper place for something like this, but since we're totally off topic, here's something that just might answer your question:

Dude: Whoa, this juice is bangin' !!!
Buddy: It's paint.

« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2008, 15:56 »
What's her religion?  If it's Nikon, tell her.  If it's Canon, keep your trap shut.

« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2008, 16:23 »
While you say you'd never consider cheating, knowing she felt the same would obviously cause feelings to change and really before you even think about opening yourself up to your cousin you need to think long and hard about your future with your current partner, is it really worth the risk of losing her and ending up having a broken relationship/family for something that could all be "grass is greener".

I was crazy about a guy when I was a teen, the feelings stayed for eight years and a chance meeting resulted in us going for a drink, I confessed having a huge crush as a teen, he said he felt the same, the relationship resulting lasted less than a month as we both found that the dream and fantasies were much better than the reality.

If you have to do it, say you had a childish crush and give yourself the way out of laughing it off as a childhood thing, but I strongly advise you to look to the future and not live for the past.

« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2008, 17:01 »
"...found that the dream and fantasies were much better than the reality."

Wise words.

« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2008, 17:40 »
What's her religion?  If it's Nikon, tell her.  If it's Canon, keep your trap shut.
haha...BINGO :D

« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2008, 23:33 »
What's her religion?  If it's Nikon, tell her.  If it's Canon, keep your trap shut.

Lol  :D Ill second that!  ;)

« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2008, 06:30 »
What's her religion?  If it's Nikon, tell her.  If it's Canon, keep your trap shut.

If she is one of those Hasselblad dudes, marry her at once! :D ;D ;)

« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2008, 12:40 »

Well if you ask her you need to consider what she is going to think.  You may not have any intention to pursue things any further but no matter what you say to her she may think you do or want to take things further herself.  Asking the question - no matter what her answer is risking your friendship with her.  Is it worth the risk?  I wouldn't think so - unless you are kidding yourself and really want to take things further.


« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2008, 09:42 »
What's her religion?  If it's Nikon, tell her.  If it's Canon, keep your trap shut.

ROFL!  And if it's Pentax, marry her!!!!!

No bias here!



« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2008, 15:51 »
i would go with her only if she has a hassleblad digital  ;D
no, seriously, if you make a move, you will risk losing both.

« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2008, 16:57 »
If you started dating someone at 18 and have stuck with her for 7 year... Wow.  Shows maturity.

If you are not truly "in love" with your 7 year gal, I wouldn't waste her time anymore, especially if your questioning your feelings for your cousin. (your complacency is ruining her chance for true love)

If you "are" in love with your 7 year gal.... THEN QUIT THE F#*k thinking about someone else. 

Sorry... faithfulness rules! Would you marry either one?

Signed... faithful for 23 years and old school over 50.

Oh... and pick the one who will give you the Hasselblad for a wedding present.


« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2008, 19:24 »
on behalf of everyone here, i want to thank dazedandconfused
for giving us the idea to start a new profession ie. marriage and relations counsellor.  i am sure we will make more than 30 cents per consultation  ;D ;D
thank you, dazedandconfused.
we will send your 7 yr faithful girlfriend a hassleblad on our 500th consultation clientele  8)




« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2008, 22:54 »

I'm thinking that if you're having thoughts about anyone else, you might be in trouble. Think about down the road. You're only 25 right now. Let's say you stick with the current girlfriend. What happens when you're 35? Or 45? Those feelings might only get worse. Harder to resist.

I hate to tell anyone that their relationship might be in trouble, but honestly, since you asked for advice, I have to say that you might need to take a good hard look at your current relationship, not even thinking about the feelings you have for the cousin. If the cousin wasn't in the picture, would you still want to stay with your current girlfriend?


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